Keeping Up: A Series of Prompts
by generalzoi
Summary: I'm turning this thing into a series of prompt-inspired ficlets. Next up, there are different kinds of touches. Some are nice, and some are really, really annoying.
1. Chapter 1

"Snack time!" Ruffnut called, walking towards the Zippleback.

Scabber and Dash raised their heads and began bouncing in anticipation. Ruffnut tossed the first fish into Dash's waiting mouth, where he gobbled it hungrily. The next one went towards Scabber, but Dash snatched it out of the air.

"Hey, none of that!" she said before the dragons could start fighting. "We're sharing today." Dash growled, she motioned for Scabber to come closer so she could toss the last two fish to him without interruption. "Daddy's busy today, so Auntie Ruff's taking care of you." Scabber rubbed his head against her outstretched hand, and Dash spat out a thin plume of gas. Ruffnut smiled at him. "Quit whining ya baby, we'll play one-on-one later." She tossed the basket to the side and clapped her hands. "All right boys, get it together. We're going solo today."

The Zippleback trilled, then locked their long necks together so Ruffnut could straddle them both. She had just about fixed the harness into place when she heard a dull thud, and turned to see a smiling Fishlegs and Horrorcow blinking up at her.

"Hey Ruff!" Fishlegs said happily.

"Hey Legs," she said, and turned back to the harness. "What're you and the amazing blob up to?"

"Nothing much. Are you going flying?"

"Um, d'oy."

"Can we come?"

Ruffnut shared a look with Scabber and Dash, and settled into place on their neck. "Sure you can," she said, "if you can keep up."

Fishlegs looked at Horrorcow, who as usual looked about two seconds from falling asleep. "Well...we'll give it a try!"

"You do that," Ruffnut said, and took off. She heard Fishlegs cry out behind her, and smirked at the sound.

A few minutes later she realized she could still hear the faint buzzing that accompanied Gronkle flight, and turned around to see Horrorcow meandering haphazardly behind them. When Fishlegs saw her looking, he raised his arm in a cheerful wave. Ruffnut rolled her eyes and turned forward. "All right guys, let's end this." Scabber and Dash looked at each other in delight and dove.

"Hey!" Fishlegs yelled, but he couldn't do anything but try to keep up.

Ruffnut took the dragons down low, weaving through the narrow spaces between buildings, grinning savagely and ignoring any hapless pedestrians they happened to knock out of their way. She laughed as a particularly gratifying crash sounded behind her. Zippleback weren't the best fliers, but even they could out fly a Gronkle.

Or so she thought until she glanced back and saw Fishlegs still doggedly pursuing them, leaning over the saddle with his face set in a mask of concentration. "You don't have to be mean about it!" he yelled at her.

"You don't know me very well, do you?" Ruff called back, then she grabbed the reins and pulled hard, sending the dragons into a straight climb. She howled as they broke the cloudline, and quickly evened them out to try and put some distance between her and Legs.

After a few quiet moments, she guided Scabber and Dash back below the clouds. "Think we lost him?" she asked the dragons, and turned around just in time to catch Horrorcow's snout directly in the gut. Scabber and Dash shrieked in surprise and drew up short as Horrowcow shot forward, taking their rider with her.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay, I'm so sorry, you came out of nowhere!" Fishlegs quickly grabbed Ruffnut's arms as she clung desperately to the saddle horn. "Where's your dragon, we'll get your dragon, we'll -"

Ruffnut started laughing. "That was insane!" she crowed.

Fishlegs paused. "Uh, are you okay?"

"Peachy!" Ruffnut said, still laughing. Horrorcow whiffled at her stomach, and she shrieked and scrambled up the dragon's wide face, clutching at and climbing over Fishlegs until she managed to settle into place behind him. "Oh wow," she said, smiling widely, and reached down to pat Horrorcow. "You got some moves after all, huh girl?" The Gronkle rumbled happily.

Scabber and Dash pulled up beside them, looking concerned. "Don't worry Dash, Momma's all right!" Ruffnut called, settling her hands in place on Fishlegs's shoulders. "You boys go on home, I'll see you there." The Zippleback bobbed their heads, then unzipped their long necks and peeled off.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Fishlegs asked.

"I said I was fine, bonehead. Tuff's hit me a lot harder than that."

"So, we're, uh..." Fishlegs trailed off, then tried again. "Where are we going?"

Ruffnut shrugged. "I don't know fat man, you're in the driver's seat."

"Oh." Fishlegs considered this, and smiled. "Cool."

* * *

**A/N:** I apologize for how short this is. This may or may not turn into a series of moments about Ruff and Legs's relationship. I don't have any specific plans, but if I get another ficlet idea revolving around the two of them, it'll go here.

**ETA:** Never mind, I decided to go another route for this story. See next chapter for notes.


	2. Genderbending

**A/N: **Okay, since the first chapter of this was based on a prompt I got at the HTTYD LJ comm, I decided to make this thing a series of prompt inspired ficlets too short to deserve their own stories. So prepare for randomness!

The prompt, via trufflehog: _girl hiccup go go go [i mean. he's almost there anyway.]_

* * *

**Genderbending**

There was a tapping sound, and Astrid looked up from where she had been organizing her weapons, then glanced at the window. The tapping sound came again, and Astrid walked over and pushed the shutters open.

Hiccup was outside the window, although he quickly ducked out of the light coming from the house. Toothless was in the distance, curled up on the ground at the back of the yard. "Astrid, we have a problem," Hiccup whispered, his voice oddly high pitched.

Astrid furrowed her brow in confusion and said, "What is it?"

Hiccup looked around nervously, and gestured for Astrid to come outside. "It's kinda hard to explain." He was almost cowering in the shadows, and the position made him look even smaller than usual. Astrid's expression grew even more concerned, and she climbed out the window.

"What's wrong with your voice?" she asked as Hiccup squared his shoulders and stepped into the light. "And your face? And your...breasts..."

Astrid's jaw dropped as she stared at the young woman in front of her. The young woman who looked quite a lot like Hiccup, and answered to Hiccup, but was most assuredly _not_ the boyfriend Astrid had seen just that morning.

"What...what..." Astrid gave up. There were no words.

"I don't know!" girl Hiccup said, flinging her hands into the air. "Toothless and I were flying over Helheim's Gate, then all of a sudden there was this big puff of - not smoke exactly, but something. And then this!" She gestured towards her substantially altered body, and Astrid pressed a fist to her mouth in concern. "I think Toothless is a girl now too, but he won't let me get close enough to check. We have to do something!"

"Do something?" Astrid asked vaguely, obviously still trying to process what exactly was going on.

"Yes! I mean, I'm, I'm a -" Hiccup abruptly stopped and visibly tried to calm herself down. "Okay, we can do this. We'll go back to Helheim's Gate, do some investigating, figure out a way to solve the problem -"

"Oh no," Astrid said.

Hiccup stopped. "Astrid?"

Astrid was biting a knuckle now, and Hiccup suddenly realized the look on her face wasn't concern. It was something far, far different. "This...isn't a problem," Astrid said. "Not at all."

Hiccup froze, then slowly began to back away as Astrid just as slowly began to stalk forward. "What...what are you doing?"

The only answer Astrid gave was a wicked grin.


	3. Tears in Our Beers

The prompt, via putri_nih: _Snotlout and Tuffnut crying together in their beer because all the awesome girls has been taken and they're kinda the lonely. _

* * *

**Tears in Our Beers**

"Another round, bar wench!" Snotlout cried, slurring more than a bit. The bartender rolled her eyes and deposited fresh tankards in front of him and Tuffnut.

Snotlout picked his up and turned back towards Tuff. "So like I was sayin', it's just not fair, bro."

"Oh, I know, man," Tuffnut said, clinking their mugs together before taking a long drink.

"It's like, there are other girls and all, but they're not the same."

"Not at all," Tuff agreed.

"I mean, Astrid is like, like...like a rare, perfect gem in a world filled with dull stones and misshapen dust." Snotlout looked off into the distance, misty-eyed. "A shining example of everything a man could want in a woman."

"Yeah!" Tuffnut said, then, "What?"

"But Hiccup's all with the big hero these days! How am I supposed to compete with that? She's all, 'You're the Viking! But I'm gonna go suck face with this guy now.'"

"Dude, I can't even talk to girls! They're all like, 'We're scared your sister's going to beat us up,' or, 'We're looking for someone who has his _own_ dragon,' or, 'I don't wanna go out with you, but I'd love to braid your hair.' This chick spent two frickin' hours on my hair, and then she just left!"

"Teases!" Snotlout said, pounding his tankard on the bar. "They're all cockteases, every one of 'em."

"S'cruel, man, just cruel."

"And Ruff! I mean, she's kinda freaky. I'd hit that. But she's dating the nerd." Snotlout suddenly sat up straight, a look of horror dawning on his face. "Tuff, the nerd has a girlfriend before we do."

Tuffnut's jaw dropped, then he threw his head back and wailed. "Oh gods, we're so pathetic. We're, we're like, _losers_ man!"

"Don't you even say that, man!" Snotlout said, pointing dramatically at Tuff. "We just gotta find some chicks, even if they're less awesome than Astrid and Ruff."

"Do you know any other chicks?"

"No, do you?"

Tuffnut shook his head, then suddenly widened his eyes in worry. "Oh gods, Lout, half the girls I know are, are my _sister_. That makes dating really hard." He grabbed Snotlout's shoulders and began shaking him and sobbing. "Why is it so hard?"

"I feel your pain, man," Snotlout said, and they collapsed on top of each other, bawling. 

* * *

Astrid rubbed her temple as she watched the boys. "Gay."

"They're not, actually," Hiccup said. "That's the whole problem. If they were, they could just..."

Astrid raised her hand to silence him. "Please don't finish that thought."

They watching the blubbering boys for a few more seconds, then Hiccup said, "You wanna go make out where they can see us?"

Astrid tapped one finger to her lips in thought, then turned to Hiccup. "Yes. Yes I do."

Hiccup gallantly gestured for her to lead the way, which she did with a flourish.


	4. Stop! Banjo Time!

The prompt, via putri_nih: _Fishlegs playing a banjo in the mead hall._

* * *

Astrid cocked her head and followed the odd twanging sound, weaving through the crowd more or less inebriated Vikings that always occupied the Hall at night. She pulled up short when she saw Fishlegs. He was standing in an open area and strumming away at a strange instrument with a round head and a long, stringed neck. Ruffnut was sitting nearby, listening raptly.

"What is that?" Astrid asked her quietly when she got close enough.

"He calls it a bang-o or something, I wasn't really paying attention," Ruffnut said.

"Where'd it come from?"

Ruffnut shrugged. Astrid looked at Fishlegs again, then called, "Hey Legs, where'd you find that thing?"

"Oh, I didn't find it!" he said. "I made it! Or, well, I designed it, and Hiccup helped me put it together."

Astrid lifted her eyebrows. "Huh. Speaking of, where is the little inventor?"

"He went off somewhere with Snotlout and Tuffnut."

"They're drunk!" Ruffnut whispered loudly to Astrid. "The lot of 'em!"

"No!" Astrid said in pretend shock, looking from Ruffnut's hazy gaze to the empty tankards on the table next to her. "I'm gonna go grab some mead. You guys want anything?"

"Yes please!" Ruffnut chirped, and Fishlegs shook his head. Astrid smirked a bit and wandered off.

The bar was even busier than usual, and it took Astrid some time to get the drinks and head back. Then she had to force her way through the crowd that had for some reason gathered in the area she had left Legs and Ruff. As she tried to dodge errant elbows and axes, she could hear odd snatches of unusual music, and found herself wondering how much noise a bang-o could make on its own. Then she finally reached the front of the crowd and came to an abrupt stop, jaw dropping in shock.

"Hi Astrid!" Hiccup called from where he, Snotlout, and Tuffnut had joined Fishlegs in what had become an impromptu staging area. "We made a band!"

"Out of what, garbage?" Astrid asked, but he didn't answer. He was busy plucking away at some twine he had strung between the top handle of a butter churn and its base. Lout and Tuff and improvised instruments too, although they hadn't seemed to put nearly as much thought into theirs. Snotlout had a cowbell that he banged with a spoon, and as far as Astrid could tell Tuffnut was just blowing into an empty jug.

Still, considering that Astrid was afraid to ask how much mead they had to have consumed to make this seem like a good idea, they at least managed a decent rhythm. And everyone around looked like they were having a good time. So Astrid shook her head and went to stand by Ruff.

Ruffnut was waving her arms in the air and bouncing in her seat like she was trying to dance without having to stand up. "What're you doing?" Astrid asked.

"I'm being a groupie!"

"You're...okay, why not?" Astrid said, and sat next to her, deciding to just go along with it.

A few minutes later they boys finished up whatever song they had been playing to enthusiastic applause. Ruffnut jumped up and cheered. "Thank you, thank you," Fishlegs said. "For our next number -" Ruffnut tackled him, and the bang-o fell to the ground with a clatter.

Tuffnut laughed, and Hiccup said, "I think that means our set's up, guys." He turned to see Astrid standing next to him. He regarded her for a moment, then motioned grandly towards the butter churn. "Ta-da!"

Astrid smirked. "You have weird hobbies."

"Yes! No wait, I mean, I mean...wait, yeah, yeah I do."

"And you're drunk."

"Yes!"

Astrid looked past him to Fishlegs and Ruffnut. "And I think we should go now."

Hiccup quickly turned around, then just as quickly looked back at Astrid. "Yes!"

"Come on rock star," Astrid said with a smile, taking his hand and leading him away.


	5. Parents

The prompt: _Parents (randomly chosen from the fanfic 100 listing)_

* * *

"Bet you I find the biggest rabbit."

"You couldn't find a rabbit if it was burrowing in your boot."

"Jealous much? Watch close, you might learn something."

"Sure. I'm always up for adding more 'Hilarious ways Tuff mauls himself' to my mental list."

"Ruffnut? Tuffnut? Where are you off to?"

The twins stopped just in front of the doorway and looked over at where their mother was sitting in front of the fireplace, sewing a large something out of light blue fabric.

"We're going hunting," Tuffnut said.

"Hunting?" Marigold Thorston asked distractedly.

"Yeah, hunting. You know, hitting small fleshy things with large metal things?" Ruffnut said, and Tuffnut snickered.

Marigold looked up at them and frowned. "There's no need for that tone, young lady."

"Sorry Mom," Ruffnut said, rolling her eyes.

"So, we're just gonna..." Tuffnut made for the door again.

"Just a moment," Marigold said. She stood up, and the large blue something unfurled to become a ruffly blue dress. Ruffnut's eyes shot open. "Ruffnut, come over here a minute, would you?"

"Why?" Ruffnut asked, frozen in place. Tuffnut started laughing again.

"I need to do a fitting."

"No you don't," Ruffnut said quickly, and punched Tuff when he snorted.

Marigold sighed and gave her daughter a Look. "Now don't be difficult."

"Can't we do it later?" Ruffnut begged. "I want to go hunting right now."

Marigold waved her hands dismissively. "You don't need to do that. Let the boys handle the dirty work."

"I like to get dirty too!" she cried, and punched Tuffnut again when he doubled over.

"Nonsense. Now, I have some matching shoes somewhere..."

Marigold disappeared down the hall, and Ruffnut leapt for the door. She ran face first into Tuffnut's open palm. "Now, now, sis, don't be like that," he said with an evil smile. "You have to do your daughterly duties."

"Get out of my way," she growled, "or I will kick your ass from here to Jötunheim."

"Hm...naw," Tuffnut said, and quickly blocked as Ruff tried to break to the left. "I don't care how pissed you get, it'll be worth it."

"I'm going to kill you. No really. You are so dead."

Tuffnut laughed. "Hey, you remember when we were little and Mom didn't pay attention sometimes, and you used to make me get dressed up in your place?"

Ruffnut smiled, enjoying the still vivid memories of her brother in a tutu. "Yeah, that was great."

"Here we are!" Marigold said, sweeping back into the room.

Realized she'd been successfully distracted, Ruffnut glared at Tuff and hissed, "Death." He just smiled.

"Come along Ruffnut, we don't have all day," Marigold called, and Ruffnut's shoulder's slumped.

"Well, you two have fun," Tuffnut said with a large grin, and opened the door.

"Wait Tuffnut, as long as you're going out, I wanted you to run an errand for me. You see that basket on the counter?"

Tuff grabbed the large woven basket from its place and looked at it curiously. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Could you drop that by your grandmother's for me? And make sure to ask her about her hip, I know she's been having some trouble with it."

His face fell, and it was Ruffnut's turn to laugh. "Gammy's? By myself?"

"Don't dawdle. It's about time for her cats' feedings, and I'm sure she'd appreciate your help with that. Now, Ruffnut, over here?"

Tuffnut winced and looked at his sister. "Trade?"

"Nope!" She clapped him on the back with a wide grin. "Good luck bro!" And with that she scampered away to the relative safety of the frilly dress, leaving Tuffnut whimpering behind her.

* * *

"Now, I think we'll have better luck with the spear. It is, of course, fairly lightweight..."

"Uh-huh, always good."

"...If you keep it balanced properly and you need to, you use it like a javelin without getting too close to your target..."

"Right, don't want to put ourselves in unnecessary danger."

"...But it's got enough range on its own to use for melee without putting yourself right next to your opponent."

"Every advantage helps."

"It does have a pointy bit at the end though, so try not to stab yourself."

"I haven't done that in over a week! How about celebrating my achievements?"

Stoick sighed. "Hiccup, if we celebrated every time you almost kill yourself, we wouldn't have time for anything else."

Hiccup shrugged. "Hey, nonstop party. I know a few people who would be up for that."

Stoick thrust the spear against Hiccup's chest. "Focus, son. Today we're going to practice throwing."

Hiccup looked up and down the length of the spear. "Sure, sure, that sounds like a plan. But uh, maybe you could demonstrate first, so I'll know -"

Stoick grabbed one of the extra spears he had jabbed into the ground and flung it across the field. It streaked forward in a perfect arc, quickly disappearing from sight.

"- okay, wow, that's..." An animal cried out from within the forest, and Hiccup's jaw dropped. "Wh - how - how did you even see that?"

"You have to be aware of everything that's going on around you. You'll learn as we go." Stoick looked sharply at him. "As long as you pay attention and don't wander off."

"Come on Dad, I'm not six anymore."

"Or fourteen."

"Or fourteen. I'm completely focused."

"If you say so, son. Now, give it a try."

Hiccup looked back at his spear. "Are you sure you don't want to give another demonstration first? I mean, the more I know about the technique, the more -"

"Quit stalling."

"But I'm so good at it!" Stoick gave him another look, and Hiccup sighed. "Okay, fine." He turned to the side, widened his stance, and drew his arm back. He tried to feel the length and weight of the spear and balance it correctly in his grip. When he decided it was as good as it was going to get, he flung his arm forward and let go.

The spear traveled about ten feet before clattering to the ground harmlessly. A high-pitched gurgle came from the trees above them, and Hiccup glared at Toothless. "No one asked you," he said. Then he looked at the spear, and his shoulders slumped. "See, I don't know why people think I can do that stuff now. Just 'cause I can ride dragons. It's not like I gained magical warrior abilities too."

"No, it's not," Stoick said, and clapped a large hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "But it's something you should know all the same. That's why I'm teaching you. Now, go get it and try again."

An hour later they had made marginal progress. Hiccup was about to give it another go when Stoick suddenly looked around sharply, then grabbed Hiccup's arm and dragged him into the bush. Hiccup knew enough to keep quiet. A few seconds later a fox stepped cautiously out into the open.

"All right Hiccup, there's your target," Stoick whispered.

"No offense Dad, but I think you're overestimating your teaching skills."

"You best hope not, because that's your dinner tonight."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now kill it."

"You want me to kill the fox?"

"Sometime before winter ends, Hiccup."

"All right." Hiccup looked into the branches over their heads, then said, "Go Toothless!"

The dragon darted out of the tree and was on the fox before it could move. Stoick turned to look at Hiccup.

"What? It's dead. I figured I should go with my strengths."

Stoick rapped him sharply on the head with a knuckle. "Bad Viking. Lazy. Now get your weapon and go drill some more."

"Oh goody," Hiccup muttered, and headed back to his practice position. Toothless, busy gnawing on his catch, purred sympathetically. "Thanks buddy."

* * *

"Yeah, so this cute girl was checking me out in the tavern."

"Mind the rigging."

"I bought her a couple drinks, you know. Made small talk."

"Wind that rope."

"But that was the night before I was supposed to meet Hiccup and the rest early so we could fly out to the peaks, so I told her I'd have to look her up later."

"Are the nets secured?"

"So, you know, if I don't come home one night..."

Spitelout sighed and leaned against the ship's railing. "I've told you before, Snotlout, as long as no one leaves a baby in a basket on my front door, I don't care what you do."

"Right, right." Snotlout nodded sagely then looked out at the waves. After a couple seconds he turned back to his father. "I'm just sayin' though, she was pretty hot. Like, you could compare her to the other girls our age, and she'd be up there."

"Congratulations." Spitelout turned to take the helm. "That's the nice thing about being married, son. You don't have to obsess over who the most beautiful woman in the village is anymore."

"I thought that was the bad thing about being married."

Spitelout looked at him sharply. "Who told you that?"

"Uh, you did. Remember a few months ago when you and Mom got in a fight, and you got drunk and ended up sleeping on the front lawn? You were kinda ranting and raving."

"Oh. Well, don't tell your mother I said that."

"Come on, I know better than that."

The two fell silent for a few minutes, then Snotlout said, "Can I ask you something?"

Spitelout grimaced. "Maybe."

"Well, Tuffnut was telling me that sometimes, when he takes a hot bath -"

"No."

"What?"

"No. Whatever that boy says, don't listen to him." Spitelout looked at Snotlout meaningfully and tapped his helmet. "He's not quite right in the head. You just watch, he's going to grow up to be the next Gobber."

"Huh." Snotlout thought for a minute, then chuckled. "I can totally see that, actually."

"There's one in every generation," Spitelout said, nodding wisely.

"He's totally fun to get drunk, though."

"They always are." Spitelout's eyes lit up. "Have you ever put him out to sea?"

"What?" Snotlout asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Next time you're drinking by the docks, see if you can get him to pass out. Then you just put him on a raft, and..." Spitelout made a pushing motion with his hands. "...shove off."

Snotlout laughed. "Oh man, that's epic! We are totally doing that next time. You did that to Gobber?"

"No, Stoick, actually."

Snotlout's jaw dropped. "You did that to the chief? No way!"

"Well, technically he wasn't the chief then. It was for his bachelor party."

"I bet he was pissed."

"You could say that." Spitelout tugged his collar down to reveal a scar on his collarbone. "That's where I got this one."

Snotlout snorted. "Nice. Hey, what did you get for your bachelor party?"

Spitelout winced and placed his hand gingerly over his rump. "You don't need to see that."

"Well, what happened?"

"You're too young for that story."

"Come on, I'm old enough to warn about babies but not to hear the story?"

"Son, there are boulders around the village that shouldn't have had to witness that particular outing."

"Wow." Snotlout fell into a contemplative silence for a few moments. Then he said, "Bachelor parties sound awesome. I can't wait to do that."

Spitelout gave him another sharp look. "If you turn up engaged in the next month just so you can have a party, I'm going to kick your ass."

"All right, fine, geez! No getting married for the parties."

"And no babies."

"You don't want me to have any fun, do you?" Snotlout said, pouting.

"See, now you're starting to understand what being a parent is," Spitelout said with a smile. "Check the nets, would you?"

* * *

"It's pretty interesting, because they're so tough, but they spend so much of their time sleeping."

"I know yours does."

"But they sleep in this big communal heaps. And they're already all brown and pebbly, right?"

"From what we've seen. They look like big rocks to me."

"Exactly! So it's like, if another dragon were to crash into that heap, it'd be like running into the side of a mountain! Except the mountain wakes up and it's all like, 'Rawr, feel my wrath!' And then it separates into lots of little mountains, and they spit fire at you, and you're all like, 'Oh no!'" And -"

"I think that's about as far as you can go on that metaphor."

"Yeah, probably." Fishlegs sniffled.

Swanhild ran over. "Are you all right? What's wrong? Are you sick?"

Hookeye looked skyward. "He's chopping onions, Swan."

"Oh, right, of course."

Hookeye dumped the meat into the pot of stew, then slid it towards Fishlegs. "About done there?"

"Yep!" Fishlegs said, and dropped in the vegetables he had been working on.

"Go wash your hands now," Swanhild said. "And don't rub your eyes."

"Swan, he's been helping me cook since he was two. Give the kid a break."

"I'm on it, Mom!" Fishlegs quickly washed his hands in the nearby basin, then sat at the table and pulled out his notebook. "So the gang and I are going to Helheim's Gate the day after tomorrow. I want to take some more notes."

"Who's 'the gang?'" Swanhild asked, sitting across from him.

Fishlegs shrugged. "Just the usual. Me, Hiccup, Astrid, Snotlout, Ruff and Tuff."

Swanhild pursed her lips. "I don't like those kids. They're too rough."

"Hence the names. Oho!" Hookeye said, stirring the stew.

"Oh yes, very clever," Swanhild said dryly as Fishlegs laughed. "I mean it though, you remember when you were little and they pushed your face in the dirt?"

Fishlegs shrugged. "They did that the everybody. And we're not little kids anymore."

"But still..."

"What are you worried about? He's built like an Ingerman!" Hookeye slapped his own broad chest, then tasted the stew.

"How's it coming, Dad?"

"Not bad. Those herbs you're going to go get are really going to bring it together."

"I don't see why we absolutely need them tonight," Swanhild said fretfully. "Can't we just do without?"

Both Fishlegs and Hookeye looked at her. "You can't half-ass stew, woman," the older man said.

"Hookeye! Language!"

"It's okay Mom, Lout and Tuff say way worse stuff than that, all the time!"

Swanhild pursed her lips, and Hookeye grinned a bit. "Well," he said, looking at the stew again, "we have about an hour before this is done. Think you can be back before then?"

"Sure thing," Fishlegs said, and stood up. Swanhild stood with him.

"Now, I put some extra padding on your saddle. Those things Hiccup makes are much too utilitarian. You're going to get sores," she said as she followed him outside.

"Thanks Mom! Now my gear's a rank above everyone else's!"

"Anything for you, sweetheart. Now give me a kiss." Fishlegs gamely leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "Oh!" she said, and ran back inside. When she returned, it was with a small bundle. "Snacks!"

"For the love of Baldr, woman, he's only going to be gone an hour!" Hookeye yelled from inside the house.

"You never know! He could get lost, or hungry..." She was looking worried again, so Fishlegs quickly took the package from her.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, stepping back towards where Horrorcow dozed lazily. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it."

"Be careful on that thing," she said, eying Horrorcow distrustfully.

"We'll be fine," Fishlegs said, mounting his dragon. "Won't we, girl?" Horrorcow snorted and shook her head. He leaned down closer to her and whispered, "Try to watch where you're going this time, okay?"

Horrorcow grunted and took off, managing to hit the side of only one building. "Good job," Fishlegs said, patting her. Then he turned to wave to his mother, who was watching them intently.

As the duo gained altitude, Fishlegs tore open the snack package. "Ooh, cookies! You know, girl, I don't care what anyone says, we've got it good." He crammed one in his mouth, then tossed another forward, and Horrorcow put on a rare burst of speed to snag it out of the air, rumbling happily as she did.

* * *

"Oh, I don't mind waiting. She's still so thin, you know. It might be for the best if they wait for her hips to fill out. Healthier, you know."

"Oh, of course. But you don't want to wait too long."

"Of course not. But the way they go at it I'm sure it'll happen sooner or later. She never brings him over, you know, but Stoick told Rotgut that sometimes he has to take a blanket to the forge and sleep there!"

"That's why I saw him there so early last week."

"Oh yes. She's spending two or three nights a week with him now, but apparently they still haven't quite gotten the vocals under control."

The helmet Astrid had been looking at fell to the ground with a clatter. Her eyes wide and face panicked, she whirled around until she saw her mother in conversation with one of the female bakers, then raced over.

"Mother!" she cried as she came to an abrupt stop.

"Oh hello, dearie," Bertha Hofferson said easily. "We were just talking about you."

"Yes, yes I heard. Please stop."

"Oh, nonsense. This isn't even your conversation," Bertha said, and turned back to her companion. She gestured towards Astrid while simultaneously ignoring her. "See, this is what I think the problem is. Poor impulse control."

"Well, they're both young yet."

"Very true. Although, from what Stoick was saying, there's at least one impulse Hiccup can -"

"Mother!" Astrid grabbed Bertha's arm, and for one of the very few times in her life she physically manhandled her mother, pulling her away from the baker. Realizing what she was doing, she let go and instead clasped her hands in front of her. "Please. Please, I don't ask you for much. And I won't ask you for anything, ever again, if you just stop. I'm about to go throw myself from the dock. The upper walkway of the dock, even. Please."

Bertha looked thoughtfully at her daughter's earnest face, then said, "All right, Astrid, don't be so dramatic. You only ever had to ask."

_Bull_, Astrid thought, but she made sure her face contained only gratitude. "Thank you."

Bertha turned and waved to her companion. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said, then linked arms with Astrid and began walking leisurely through the marketplace. "Help me with something, dear. I want to get Hiccup a present."

Astrid grimaced. "It's not a crib or anything, is it?"

"Don't be silly, Astrid, that boy ought to be able to build one of those on his own. I was thinking maybe a nice pair of boots, or a new vest. Oh!" She let go of Astrid and stopped at one of the stalls, picking up a purple shirt with brightly colored embroidery that was well across the line of gaudy. "Look at this one, dear. And it comes in a matching set!" She picked up the same shirt in a smaller, more feminine cut and held them up for Astrid to look at.

"They're lovely," she said.

Bertha beamed. "Do you really think so?"

"Oh yes. He'll definitely appreciate that." _You never know when you'll run out of dry kindling and need something to start the fire._

Bertha happily paid for her purchases, then took Astrid's arm again. "There now, your old mother isn't so bad, is she?"

Astrid sighed. "You're not bad at all, Mom. I'm just not sure everyone in the village needs to know what Hiccup and I do."

"You should know, dearie, that everyone in the village has known what you and Hiccup are doing almost since you started doing it." She leaned in close and in a stage whisper added, "It's not that big of a village."

"Okay, but for my sanity? Maybe let me remain blissfully ignorant."

"Whatever you say, dear," Bertha said, and Astrid decided, for her sanity, to pretend like she meant it.


	6. Two Shall Be One

The prompt, via cactus_rabbit: _I would love to see what [Astrid's mother] does when Hiccup and Astrid actually tie the knot ;)_

* * *

Astrid hadn't exactly expected this, but in retrospect she probably should have.

"I thought we were friends!" Ruffnut slurred, weaving in place.

"We are, Ruff," Astrid sighed.

"No - no, we're _not!_ Friends don't let - they don't make - we're not friends!"

"Why not?"

"B-because, yer, yer...what are you doin'?"

"I'm getting married. To Hiccup. In about an hour, so..."

"Yeah! An' I'm s'pose ta be your best friend, but I'm not even in the sssstupid wedding! That's stone cold, Astrid. Like a _fox."_

"You're drunk," Astrid said.

"Yeah!" Ruffnut said, suddenly cheerful. "It's a party!"

"Exactly. I mean, look at you," Astrid gestured, and Ruffnut did in fact look down at herself, almost falling forward in the process. "You can barely stand. If you were in the wedding party, you'd have to be sober. I figured you'd rather get drunk."

Ruffnut looked at her for a minute, then smiled widely. "Yer so smart!" she slurred, and threw her arms around Astrid's neck. "'M so happy for you. An' Hiccup's gonna be the, the best wife ever."

"Husband."

"What?"

"Hiccup is a man."

"Man-wife?"

"...Sure."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" Fishlegs said as he suddenly appeared in the doorway. "I took my eyes off her for like, a second."

"She's sneaky," Astrid said, patting Ruffnut on the back. "We were just talking."

"Fat man!" Ruffnut cried, and spun around. The momentum sent her straight to the floor. Both Fishlegs and Astrid leapt for her, but Astrid was hampered by the unusually ornate clothing she was wearing, and Fishlegs got there first. "Hi there!" she chirped happily, winding her arms around Fishlegs's neck as he scooped her up.

"Okay, we'll just, uh...see you in a while," Legs said, Ruffnut nestled happily in his arms.

"Yes," Astrid said.

"Well, good luck!" he said, and maneuvered carefully out the door. Astrid heard Ruff cry, "Onward!" as they made their way down the hall, and shook her head.

Then her parents walked in, and Astrid bit back a sigh, because this she had been expecting.

"Well now dearie, this should be the last of it," Bertha said, depositing a wrapped bundle on the dresser as Rotgut went to stand in the corner. "Now, how are you feeling?"

"Good. Fine." Astrid chewed on her lip as her mother adjusted various bits of ornamentation.

"Yes?" Bertha asked.

Astrid nodded. "Yes. I'm, I'm happy. Excited." She blew a puff of air sharply upwards, sending her bangs flying. "Nervous."

"Of course you are, dear," Bertha said as she brushed Astrid's hair back into place. Then she cupped her daughter's face in both hands and gave her a warm smile. "But remember, this isn't about the ceremony, or the rings. This is about you and Hiccup. And I know you're going to be so happy." She stroked Astrid's cheeks with her thumbs. "You always worry. You'll learn that when you and Hiccup have children. You worry about what's going to happen, about how it's all going to turn out. I want you to know that your father and I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become, Astrid."

Astrid blinked back against the sudden stinging in her eyes and threw her arms around her mother. "Thanks Mom," she murmured into Bertha's ear.

Bertha gave her a squeeze, then stepped back and took the bundle from the dresser. She unwrapped it to reveal a decorated headdress, in the same style but more adorned than Astrid's usual headband. She carefully affixed it to her daughter's brow, then moved back to take a look. "There now, aren't you beautiful."

Astrid ran her hands self-consciously over the fine fabric of her dress, then turned to her father. "What do you think, Dad?"

Rotgut didn't say anything.

"Oh now, don't be like that," Bertha said as Astrid looked between them in confusion.

He grunted.

"Dad?" Astrid asked tentatively. "Is everything all right?"

"Don't mind him, dearie, he's been crying himself to sleep every night for weeks."

"I have not!" Rotgut said, his voice breaking.

Astrid's eyes widened. "Dad?"

His lips trembled, and suddenly Astrid found her lifted off the ground. "My baby girl's leaving home!" he bawled as he squeezed Astrid to his chest.

"By Thor's hammer, Rotgut, you're worse than a woman. Do try to keep from suffocating her, would you?"

Rotgut sniffled for several more minutes while Astrid awkwardly patted his elbow, the only part of him she could comfortably reach with her arms pinned to her sides. He eventually let go and sat down heavily on a nearby bench. Bertha rubbed his shoulders comfortingly. "Now then Astrid, there's one more thing we need to think about."

"Yes?"

"I've marked the date on my calendar."

"For the...the wedding? I had assumed you would..."

"Now, I'm willing to give you two about a week's leeway, but nine months from now -"

"Oh gods," Astrid groaned, covering her eyes with one hand.

"You know what I'm expecting from you."

"Yes, Mother, you've been making it abundantly clear for years."

"Just so you know," Bertha said primly.

"Believe me, I know," Astrid said. Rotgut, watching them both silently, sniffled.

* * *

"Hm," Stoick said.

"Rrrr," Toothless added.

"Eh, well, it's..." Gobber said.

"You look...I mean..." Snotlout said.

Tuffnut appeared in the doorway. He took one look at Hiccup and started laughing. "Oh man, you look like a grizzly bear's halfway done shitting you out!"

"Thanks for that assessment, Tuff," Hiccup said from underneath his father's massive fur cloak.

Snotlout laughed, and Stoick grunted. "It was worth a try," he said, whipping the cloak off Hiccup's shoulders. While Hiccup had appreciated the thought, he personally felt his dad might have been a little blinded by nostalgia. Even now Stoick was more than twice the width of his son. It made sharing clothing a bit impractical.

"Looks like we'll have to go with the backup," Gobber said.

"Backup?" Hiccup asked, but then he felt another soft weight descend on his shoulders. This one, however, was much lighter than his father's cloak had been, and had the added bonus of not swallowing him whole.

"I had it made just in case," Stoick said, clapping Hiccup on the shoulder and then stepping back.

"Thanks, Dad," Hiccup said, then turned so that he was fully facing the other men in the room. "Well? Better?"

"Something could be worse than bear shit?" Tuffnut whispered to Snotlout, then cried out as Gobber rapped him sharply on the head.

"Oh, very nice," Gobber said encouragingly. "You look almost like a real Viking."

"Almost," Lout said.

"So close," Tuff added.

"You look great, son," Stoick said, giving the others a glare.

Hiccup felt something nudge his hand, and turned to stroke Toothless's wide face. "What do you think, buddy?" he asked. "It's exciting right? We're adding a new member to our family." He abruptly drew his eyebrows together and looked up. "No wait, that didn't come out right."

"Speaking of that," Stoick said with a gleam in his eyes, "I spoke with Bertha Hofferson earlier. She wanted me to tell you -"

"Great Odin," Hiccup said as Tuff and Lout began to laugh again.

"- she'll give you one week's leeway -"

"Please, stop. I know where you're going with this, really. I don't need to hear it out loud."

"If you're sure, son," he said, trying not to smile. Behind him, Snotlout tapped Tuffnut on the arm, then started pelvic thrusting. Tuffnut snickered.

"Now, there's a few things I wanted to go over with you," Stoick said. "Marriage is all about respect."

"Oh, I respect Astrid," Hiccup said, trying very hard to ignore Lout's increasing lewd pantomime.

"It's not always going to be easy, either. I know you're young and everything seems wonderful now, but it can get hard."

"I understand," Hiccup said, trying to discreetly signal for Lout to cut it out already. "No one's perfect."

Stoick nodded. "The reason you make this commitment, in front of the gods and your village, is because you love this woman, every part of her. And she accepted because she feels the same. It's important to remember that."

"I do love her. Everything about her," Hiccup said sincerely. "Excuse me one second?" He grabbed a nearby shield and flung it at Snotlout, catching him in the face mid air-hump and sending him to the ground with a cry.

"Good shot," Stoick said. "Gobber, would you mind?"'

"All right you hooligans," Gobber said, grabbing the two young men by the ears. "You'd think you're still walking around in diapers, the way you two carry on."

"Ow! Hey! Why do I get the clamp?" Snotlout yelled as the door slammed behind them.

Stoick sighed, then placed his hands on Hiccup's shoulders. He stood there for a long moment, just looking at his son. Hiccup realized he was blinking back tears. "Oh, Hiccup," he said, "I'm so proud of you." He drew in a ragged breath, and squeezed Hiccup's shoulders. "I wish your mother could be here."

"Me too, Dad," Hiccup said, placing a hand over his father's.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, then Stoick abruptly stepped back. "Well," he said, and cleared his throat. "We'd best be getting you up there, hm?"

"Yes," Hiccup said, and gulped. "Yes, we should do that."

Stoick clapped a hand on Hiccup's back again. "You can do this."

"I can do this. I can totally do this. I just have to..." A large reptilian head bumped into his back, forcing him into motion. "...walk! Right, walk forward."

"You keep him on his toes," Stoick whispered to Toothless as they followed after him.

* * *

Hiccup didn't really hear anything the village elder was saying. He didn't notice any of the decorations either. The only things he was aware of were Astrid, and the pounding of his heart. He spent the whole time just staring at her. His bride. And she looked back, glowing as happily as he had ever seen her. So he probably missed some things, but he had practiced almost obsessively, and he knew what to say and when to say it, even if he didn't really hear himself.

And then they were married.

* * *

After the ceremony meat was eaten, songs were sung, dances resulted into the usual amount of damaged furniture, and entirely too much mead was ingested. At the end of the night Hiccup had to get Toothless to chase the last few stragglers out.

"Man, what a mess," he sighed, surveying the trashed common area.

A rumpled dress landed at his feet. "Oops," Astrid said. "I made it worse."

"No," Hiccup said, walking towards her. "See, that? _That_ makes everything better."

Astrid smiled and tugged his shirt over his head when he got close enough. She ran her hands over his chest and he realized suddenly that he was about to make love to his wife.

"I love you," he said.

Astrid smiled again, so sweetly he thought he would melt. "I love you too. But I'd really love it if you dropped the pants."

"Yes ma'am," Hiccup said.

* * *

Someone knocked early the next morning. "Don't answer that," Astrid said immediately.

"Why not?" Hiccup asked, curling around her more tightly.

"Because it's my mother."

"You don't know that."

"I really do."

"It could be someone else."

Astrid paused. "I guess it could be my dad."

Hiccup frowned. "Why would your dad be knocking on our door?"

"Apparently he's a lot more sentimental than I realized."

"Well, maybe I'll go check."

"No, you won't," Astrid said, and she was right.

Later, though, after they had eventually pulled themselves out of bed, Hiccup opened the front door curiously. Whatever he saw made him say, "By the one eye of Odin!"

"What is it?" Astrid called.

"Well, you were right," he called back. "It was your mother."

"I told you."

Hiccup grunted, then staggered into the kitchen with an enormous basket overflowing with various foodstuffs. "How many people does she think she's feeding?" he asked.

"By now?" Astrid said. "She's probably hoping at least three."

"We do only have six more days," he said.

"Mm." Astrid plucked a berry from the basket, and took a bite. "Well, we don't want to disappoint her. I guess we should make sure we're on the right track."

That was a plan Hiccup could definitely get behind.


	7. Braggart

The fanart that inspired the fic, via putri_nih/lindbloem: _lindbloem[dot]deviantart[dot]com/art/You-Are-Such-a-Braggart-164859721_

**A/N:** IMPORTANT! Okay, first of all, this won't make any sense unless you go see the picture, because I didn't attribute anyone's quotes. You can probably figure it out, but it's much easier with the picture.

Secondly, this chapter is **MATURE**. I didn't want to change the rating of the whole thing since most of them aren't, but for this one it's definitely **M**. You have been warned.

* * *

"I'm serious."

"No way."

"Oh yes."

"That's gotta be like a record."

"That's what I'm sayin'. My man performs."

"What was it, like -"

"Five times."

"Wow. Man, I didn't think Legs had it in him."

"Technically, _I_ had it in _me_."

"Oh, oh gods, dammit Ruff. We were having a nice bonding moment, and then you had to ruin it with the visual of sister sex."

"Heheheh. Yeah, that's pretty fun."

"More fun than the sex?"

"Oh, Hel no. Don't get between me and my man."

"Oh, I won't. 'Specially since I'm a little scared of him now..."

"Damn right you are."

* * *

"Dude, dude, Lout. Gu-guess what I found out."

"Whasat now?"

"Legs has got like, a magic dick."

"...Dude, I don't even want to know how you got that info."

"Ruff was tellin' me -"

"I'm not drunk enough for this. Bar wench, another round!"

"Good now?"

"Sure man, go."

"Ruff was tellin' me, it like, it comes back, after. So it's like, *bloop*, then _viiiiip,_ then *bloop*, then _viiiiip_, then -"

"I get it, you don't need the visuals."

"It's like magic."

"Man, that'd be a pretty handy skill to have."

"Yeah. I wish I could see that."

"What'd you say?"

"I said I wish I could do that."

"No you didn't."

"What'd I say?"

"...I don't remember."

"More mead?"

"You know it."

* * *

"Hey Hiccup!"

"Snotlout."

"I found something else you suck at."

"...And you came all this way just to tell me. You're a pal."

"I do it for you, buddy. So it turns out Fishlegs has a magic dick."

"I'm, I'm reasonably sure he doesn't."

"Seriously, it's like multi-orgasmic. So he can go all night long."

"That's good for him and Ruff, I guess, but it doesn't explain why you're talking about it."

"I'm just saying, he and Ruff haven't been together nearly as long as you and Astrid, but I bet Ruff's already way more satisfied."

"At least I have someone to practice with. Or has your palm been giving your pointers?"

"Oh yeah, you've been having sex with the same person for years, congrats. I mean, I can have sex with as many different girls as often as I want, but your thing is good too."

"Stop one-upping my witticisms, Lout, it's bad for my self-image."

"Stop doing what to your what now?"

"And just like that, I feel better about myself. Thanks."

* * *

"So, Snotlout was talking about Fishlegs."

"Good for him?"

"Specifically, he was talking about, uh, how Fishlegs performs in bed."

"Wow, okay. I have no idea how he got that information. And yet, my mind is buzzing with possibilities."

"Yeah, I was a little scared to ask."

"All right, I'm not sure I want to know, but what exactly would inspire Snotlout to talk about Fishlegs's boudoir skills?"

"Apparently he can...perform multiple times."

"As in...?"

"As in..."

"Oh, okay. So he can get it back up."

"Apparently."

"Well, I imagine Ruff's enjoying herself."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"And I'm not sure why Snotlout's repeating it, but let's just say he's weird and leave it at that."

"Works for me."

"Now, what I want to know is why _you_ felt the need to bring it up."

"Oh, well, I just wanted to know what you thought. You know, about that."

"Mmhm."

"Because, I mean, _I_ can't do that..."

"Stop right there. Hiccup, you don't have to compare yourself to anyone else."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Believe me, I am perfectly happy with the performance of your cock. Honestly, if I had to pick an organ, I'd be more worried about your tongue. You just make sure to keep that in good shape, and we'll be fine."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

"You should know, people are talking about you."

"What? About me?""

"Yep."

"What are they saying? Ooh, is it about my new collector's edition Gronkle statuette? It's pretty epic."

"No, not exactly."

"Oh. Is it about the dragon manual?"

"No."

"My cooking?"

"Nope."

"Um...oh, me and Ruff?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. And when I say people, well, I heard it from Hiccup, and he heard it from Lout, and I assume he heard it from Tuff. So really just us."

"Okay. What are Hiccup and Lout and Tuff saying about me?"

"They heard from somewhere - and by somewhere I mean Ruff, but you didn't hear it from me - that you have certain...skills."

"On my nightelf druid?"

"In the bedroom."

"In the...what?"

"Just that you perform well, and multiple times."

"Ruffnut told them that?"

"I'd guess she's pretty excited about it. Not a lot of guys can do that. I think. Not that I have that much experience. I know Hiccup can't..."

"Excuse me."

"Fishlegs? Where are you going?"

* * *

"I don't see what the problem is."

"That's personal information."

"Gods, so I bragged, so what?"

"So maybe before you distribute information, you should consider who else that information affects."

"It's not like it's a bad thing. Seems like they were impressed to me."

"I don't care what they think about it. I don't want them to even know about it."

"It was a compliment! What's the big deal?"

"That was supposed to be something intimate, just between us."

"Look, I liked what you did in bed, so I told someone about it. It's better than saying I hated it, right?"

"If you're going to be that loose with our private moments, maybe we shouldn't have any anymore."

"...You cannot be serious."

"Good day, Ruffnut."

"Where are you going? Hey, get back here! You can't leave, not after that! I just found it, I can't lose it again! Fishlegs? By the gods - OKAY, I'LL NEVER BRAG AGAIN, JUST COME BACK! Friggin' drama queen..."


	8. Touch

The prompt, randomly chosen from the fanfic 100 listing: _Touch_

* * *

Astrid, Hiccup finds, gets bored very easily. He wouldn't have suspected that. She seems so focused most of the time that he assumed she constantly had something occupying her mind. He was wrong though. Astrid is incredibly focused when she's training, or fighting, or flying, and maybe that was the problem. When she didn't have anything else to do, and there wasn't an axe nearby to be sharpened, she found something else to occupy herself, usually something random.

Since Hiccup spends much of his time around her these days, this "something random" often takes the form of "something to Hiccup." So far she's braided his hair, stolen the tie holding the top of his shirt closed, and somehow managed to dismantle his leather harness, which he hadn't even noticed until it had fallen off of him. After that incident he learns not to let her stand behind him when he's otherwise occupied.

Today, he forgets. He's talking to Snotlout, and apparently Ruffnut has wandered off and left Astrid with nothing to do, because she idly touches the small of his back with her index finger, then quickly trails it up his spine.

Hiccup's back instinctively arches, and he squeals in a distinctly unmanly manner before jumping away. The touch had almost tickled, except it was much stronger and shot out to every part of his body. Snotlout is laughing, and Hiccup whirls around to see Astrid looking surprised, then pleased and amused.

"Don't do that again," Hiccup says.

She does it again. Every single time Hiccup shrieks in a way that sends his friends into spasms, and instinctively leaps away. It's a reflex, he thinks, because he certainly can't help it, and he doesn't get used to it either. Astrid - and everyone else in the vicinity - is terribly amused by this response. Annoyed, he waits for her to get distracted, then tries it himself. Astrid merely turns and gives him a look and a little smirk. Of course. Hiccup would be the only one to react to something like that with his best impression of a six-year-old girl running from a mouse.

It's annoying, but it's only one thing, and most time spent with Astrid is thoroughly enjoyable, so he puts up with it. Most of the other touches they share are very nice, anyway. He can put up with the punching and pushing and tweaking because everything else is more than good enough to make up for it.

One night, Astrid is in his bed, naked and sated. Hiccup is gently tracing the lines of her body, not really looking to start anything else that night, but just enjoying the feel of her. He runs his finger across the small dip where her hip meets her thigh, and she gasps and jerks, violently.

For a second they stare at each other in shock. Then Hiccup smiles, and Astrid scoots away.

"Don't do that again," she says.

"Aw, why not?" he asks, still with that shit-eating grin, and makes to reach for her again.

She sits up and moves further away. "Hiccup, I'm serious. I will hurt you."

"You're going to do that anyway," he says, moving closer.

She shifts back again, intent on increasing the distance between them. "This is about the back thing, isn't it? Look, I-I'll stop if you stop."

Hiccup pauses and lower his hands. "That sounds fair," he says, and Astrid breathes a sigh of relief. "But, you know, we're not exactly even yet," he adds, and reaches for her again.

She quickly shuffles backwards. "Hiccup, doooooOOOOOH!" she shrieks as she falls off the side of the bed.

Hiccup can't help it. He starts laughing. He's going to get in so much trouble when she rights herself, but right now it's the funniest thing he's ever seen in his life.

Astrid's head pops up, and she literally growls. "Wait wait!" he gasps as she tackles him. She's angry, but not really, and soon enough they've started touching again after all.


End file.
